The Mystery of Parents without Parents

Over the past four years I've lost both grandmother's. Both of my grandfather's passed away before I was born. At times, I forget that I'm not the only one who is effected by this. The trap of narcissism has taken its toll on too many souls.  Often children forget about how parents view life because we lack empathy and spend too much time in our comfort zones. We do not even try to wonder what it's like to raise a child and then see him or her grow in a world that is changing all too quickly. I can admit of being guilty of this myself and this is one of the reasons as to why I am writing this blog post. For those of you who do not know me, one thing I like to do in order get my thoughts out there is to write poetry. That is how I will write today. This was inspired by a priest who gave a homily at a daily Mass and he was talking about having lost family members. My Mom was sitting right next to me and all I could do was put my arm around her and wonder "I don't know what it's like to not have my parents around." I will be writing from the standpoint of a son who has two living parents and applying my thoughts about my own parents who no longer have living parents.

"I don't know what it's like"

I don't know what it's like to no longer have a mother and a father living,
to look around and no longer see, feel, or hear those two special people around who just kept giving and giving.

I don't know what it's like to no longer hug the one's taught you how to hug,
to no longer have a Mom or a Dad at your bedside when you are sick with a bug.

I don't know what it's like to no longer see the one's who helped raise you into who you are,
to no longer see the one who taught you to walk, run, ride a bike, and drive a car.

I don't know what it's like to have something happen and turn to my phone,
to dial the unforgettable number and remember that the number no longer has a home.

I don't know what it's like to look at a calendar and see a birth date and death date,
to no longer have a birthday song to sing, a letter to write, an e-mail to send, a call to make, or a picture to take.

I don't know what it's like to no longer have someone to throw the baseball to who taught you the game you still love,
to have memories that seem to be dead that you wish were alive,

I don't know what it's like to pray to a bodiless soul,
to somehow know that I need to pray about this reality to heal my soul but it feels like the my world has lost all control.

I don't know what it's like to delete an address, phone number, or email forever,
to be healed by Christ and to be healed by time in order to begin a new endeavor.

I don't know what it's like to see a gravestone with the name of your Mom and Dad,
to see reality, to see truth, to see for myself that we are all going to die, to not know what it feels like to be heartbroken, to be beyond sad.

I don't know what it's like to have days and days of sorrow,
to have my only prayer be "Lord, will the pain in my heart ever go away? I miss my Mom. I miss my Dad. I don't know if I can wait until tomorrow!"

I don't know what it's like to lose a parent in a tragedy or who died in peace,
to see those two names printed so clearly in black ink in the press release.

I don't know what it's like to ask for prayers from a Mom or a Dad when all I can do is hope they are with Jesus, To go to Church as often as possible just hoping that they still see us.

I don't know what it's like to turn to the Blessed Virgin Mary and call her my Mom . . . And know that she's My only Mom.
I don't know what it's like to remain in the arms of God the Father . . . and know that he's My only Father.

Please forgive me if you do know what it's like to no longer have your parents around,
Please share this if you would do anything to hear their voice - to hear that consoling sound.
Please open yourself to learning from each other and please extend your heart out to mine,
Please say a prayer for the soul of the one you love and is now outside of time.



Death is a mystery in itself. To be some how connected with our parents who are interceding for us in Heaven or in purgatory. Thankfully, we can be mysteriously united with our loved ones at every Mass with the communion of the Saints. It's a mystery! It's not always meant to be understood. Our hearts yearn to be united with those who have died and it is great news to know that Jesus invites us into a relationship with him that can lead to eternal happiness. If we truly want to be united with our loved ones we must ask God to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to the mystery of his life, death, resurrection, and ascension. Jesus does ask us to love him above all (see Luke 14:26). In the next couple of weeks at Mass we will hear about the ascension of Jesus and the descent of the Holy Spirit. This is the Good News. This is Jesus showing us that he has prepared a place for us. This is why we must trust when its easy and when its hard. This is why we must say "Jesus, I trust in You!" This is the Mystery of Life!

Life without mystery is boring.

Before I write anything I want to consecrate this blog to Mary. Mother Mary, please bless those who read this blog and guide them to your son Jesus Christ. Amen. 

The title of the blog is called "Mysterium Vitae" which is Latin for "The Mystery of Life."

It has been on my heart for the past few weeks to start a blog. Now that I've finished three years of seminary, one thing among many has become more and more apparent to me: People who do not live with a sense of mystery in life are bored, unhappy, and at times very negative. People who are not fully alive (St. Irenaeus) are not excited about waking up in the morning. Now do not get me wrong, there will be days when it is difficult to get out of bed, but there should eventually be some sense of wonder of what the day will bring. Without a sense of mystery or awe, life is boring or at times meaningless. When life is not full of mystery and wonder, we tend to fall into a negative, hopeless, and narcissistic dispositions. This can lead to an all too common quick-to-quit attitude along with a face that looks at electronics more than other human beings or nature. It also can lead to habits that will not satisfy the heart and will lead the soul into desolation/darkness. When I speak of mystery I do not mean fantasy because fantasy is focused only on the ego. I also do not mean being entertained because that again relates to pleasing the ego. What I do mean is that mystery is reality and being aware of God's providence. For example: Mystery is sacramental in its very nature because the Latin word sacramentum is translated in English into mystery. To use more modern language to be in the mystery of life is to
have one's "mind blown."

Thankfully, there is so much that is meant to be "unveiled" to us (cf. Exodus 34:29-35). If we freely allow the veil to be lifted just a little we will begin to see and participate in the mystery of life. However, we are all too often looking with a veil over our eyes and hearts, which blocks our ability to sense spiritual realities. The deepest reality is that the mystery of love, which is God (cf. 1 John 4:8) is more real than the chair you are sitting on. Unfortunately, without any sense mystery we block this reality from dwelling in our hearts. We remain in the darkness that the veil of little or no mystery casts over our eyes and hearts.  There are many reasons for this and that is what I hope to dive into with this blog while giving some practical ways to unveil our lives to the mystery that is always before us. I will share from personal experience, information from books, scripture, catechism, classes, videos, etc to engage the mind and heart to unveil to the mystery of life.

For now I encourage you to pray with Psalm 46: Be Still and Know that I am God. Repeat it over and over in your heart of hearts. Give yourself some time. Take deep breaths. Be Patient and Be Still. Pay attention to the movements of your heart and pay attention to what thoughts come to mind. Notice how in the picture the water is calm while reflecting more clearly sun/son and that is one of the many pieces to the the mystery of life. If our souls are still as the water is still we will reflect the mysteries of life. We must spend time in silence everyday. Silence will magnify what is distracting you from what God desires to reveal to you. Then bring that distraction to Church this Sunday in your heart and listen what God desires to reveal to you. You can do it! Do not let the evil one accuse you of any less.

Living in the Mystery,

Zach Weber